Horde Honeys

Spying on the Enemy

April 3rd, 2009

I am sure it has become apparent that I play mainly HORDE. The reason I say mainly is because I have a couple of Alliance alts. What can I say curiosity got the better of me I suppose.

I currently have a Gnome Warrior (lolwhut?), a Nelf Rogue (waitwhut?), and a Nelf Death Knight (not a Sylvanas knock-off I swear!). Now before I get to the point of this post I figure I would explain a few things. To be honest I am not really 100% sure this post is even going to have a point but bear with me ok?

The Explaining:
The whole dabbling in alliance affairs started when my main realm suddenly went down and would not come back up. I really wanted to play WoW so I randomly chose a realm from the list of those available (that was not labeled PvP) and contemplated my first true alt. I don’t know why I made that Nelf hunter, I just did. I played for a couple of hours before bed time and never logged into her again.

Skip ahead a year and a half. I had my main and 2 HORDE alts on my main server and some new friends to play with. One of my friends mentions trying some new alts since our server would be down for a couple days for maintenance (at least this time it was scheduled) I said ok and we hopped over to another server and made Alliance alts. I made a Nelf Rogue (no seriously!). We played for a bit and I had to admit that with someone else there it really wasn’t so bad. Then of course I stepped into Darnassus for the first time and almost cried at the state of general chat. I mean I thought barrens chat and LFG chat were bad, but yikes, just fucking yikes!

Skip ahead a couple years and said Nelf Rogue is lvl 20 as of a few weeks ago (I log into her maybe once every 3 to 4 months). I am not sure why but while playing her with my friend we got onto the subject of how brokeass we were on this server. As a joke I suggested making DK alts there to fund our other alts (don’t argue with my logic just accept it!).

The Point:
And thus we get to the point of this post my DK Nelf alt. I have to say I absolutely LOVE the DK starting quests and have made (and deleted) my fair share of DKs just so I can run through these quests multiple times. As with my HORDE DKs the quests were the same and nothing really changed until the very end. there are 2 portals Orgrimmar and Stormwind. For the first time I was walking through the “Other” portal that I had never paid attention to before. So there I was standing in Stormwind looking terribly terribly confused. After many wrong turns and checking my map 500 times I finally found the throne room of King whatshisname. So there I stood being spat upon by guards while staring at an empty throne (the massive amounts of skeletons on the floor on the way in should have been my first clue that something was amiss). I thought maybe I was in the wrong spot so I walked through each of the rooms (carefully stepping over many skeletons) to see if maybe he wandered or something. This was my first time in Stormwind for more than a hair cut so I had never actually seen the King before.

Apparently some HORDE individuals had run through Stormwind like a violent train of death and destruction (GO HORDE!) so there I was unable to turn in my DK quest and kind of stuck because I really couldn’t do anything else until I turned it in. Thankfully this raid had taken place quite a while before, so it was only about 20 minutes or so before he spawned. I am sorry to all Alliance players out there but while King whosiwhatsis has some pretty neat armor he is ugly as all hell.

So there I was a Nelf DK in the Kings throne room handing in the quest.  I could not help but compare his reaction with  Thrall’s towards DKs in general. I wish I could say that I was shocked that Thrall is actually more compassionate and less of an asshat than the leader of the alliance, but I am really not. It was at that point while I was calling King whateverhisnameis a steaming pile of dick cheese that I realized one truth. I am spying on the enemy. Even though I was in the body of an alliance player, my heart and mind are still fully HORDE. So while I may occasionally log onto another server and step into the form of an alliance I will never truly BE alliance.

For the HORDE baby, FOR THE HORDE.

One Response to “Spying on the Enemy”

  1. Atchoo

    *shoots milk all over the screen from laughing*

    Great. Just freakin great. You owe me a new laptop. My bill will be in your mailbox shortly.

    In other news, that was a completely LOLtastic post! Quite the dichotomy you have going on there with the whole head vs. heart thing. One of the most unique views of this “damnable game” I’ve seen.

    Good work!

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